For the Conn. Families ...

My dear Stepfamily friends,


Please stop and pray for the families of the children and teachers killed and injured in Connecticut today. The pain they will go though this holiday season makes even our stepfamily issues seem small and trivial by comparison.

Take time to pray for and appreciate your children AND your stepchildren. And, as you try to explain to them what has happened, and how it could happen, be sure to remind them the the Lord loves them no matter how much craziness is in this world. His mercy and love is everlasting.

I hope you will take this sad experience to heart and, if you've been angry or dissatisfied in your marriage and stepfamily, you will reconsider your stance. Consider, instead, embracing them (even the stiff, cranky, or rebellious ones) with a love that can melt the distrust. Love them MORE than you would hope to be loved were you in their shoes.

I will be sending out another regular newsletter this weekend. Until then,

Go with God,
STEPcoach Bob

Blessings of Being A Stepparent

1) I married my high school sweetheart after we'd both been divorced upon by our spouses, so new life, new hope;
2) she brought a daughter, sort of a curse AND a blessing;
3) she then had a son, my step-grandson - a definite blessing!

Here is a journal entry I wrote about a day with my grandson, back in 2002:
------------
February 2002

What a perfect day with Michael!
I never could have believed (and now I speak with faulty memory, because his presence has altered my mind so much) that I could be so completely taken by a baby boy! I think of him far more often than anyone else, and wonder about him whenever he is not with me. When he runs to me and wraps his arms around my leg, either to hug me or in an attack, I just feel all poured out for him. What I mean is that he seems to take over my full emotions. To make him giggle or even to scream with delight makes me feel like the most successful man in the world.

Today was a Monday, which means that I have promised to set all else aside to care for Michael. It’s definitely a foolish thing by the world’s standards, but I’m afraid I’m completely foolish when it comes to this little boy. After dropping Jo (Nana) off at her job, I came back home to find Jennifer almost ready to leave for her job and Michael still asleep. I puttered with home chores – dishes, trash, etc. – until I heard him call o ut. I called to him, “Hey Buddy, Grandpapa’s here.” In a few minutes, he toddled into the living room, tilted his head ‘way to the side and grinned at me.

We spent the morning playing and watching some cartoons, then while watching Bear in the Big Blue House, he started getting drowsy, so he got up and stumbled over to the couch, climbed up, and scooted over onto my lap! He laid his head back on my chest and stuck his bottle in his mouth. He could only sit still for so long, lest he fall asleep. So he hopped down and sprawled on the carpet, propping his chin on his fist, while his feet were propped up in the air. I couldn’t resist ... I laid down beside him, adopting the same pose. He snuck a look at me out of the corner of his eye, then got up on his knees and flopped on my back to watch TV from there. I rolled over so that he fell off giggling, and got on my hands and knees looking at him. He charged toward me, butting me in the head with his head. I dropped my head and burrowed into his belly. He squealed and grabbed my shirt, wrestling with me. I fell back on my back and he pounced on me.

We wrestled like that until we were tired (really I tired much more quickly than he did!) and we sat back on the couch. His mommy came home then for lunch. He had a sandwich with her, and when she left I laid him down in his play pen with a bottle of milk for a nap. He never made a sound, just looked up at me with sleepy, bright eyes. After his nap time, I had gotten us ready for a trip to town, so I went in to wake him. I leaned over his bed and whispered, “I love you. I love you, Michael.” He slowly opened his eyes and then jumped up when he saw me, and held out his arms to be picked up. I got him dressed and we left the house.

We then went to Wal-mart. I took Michael in to get Jo’s medicine refilled. After getting the pills, we played some. I’d push the cart out in front of me, crouch down and growl, “I’m gonna get your belly!” while running up on the cart and tickling his tummy as he squealed. We did figure eights, and drove through the too-tightly-packed clothing aisles, the shirt sleeves ticking his face. If anyone was paying attention, surely they thought I was nuts! Or maybe they envied me getting to play with such a wonderful baby. We bought some supplies for my new office and check ed out.

Then we went to get Jo. I took Michael upstairs to let her show him off. As we started in the front door of the clinic, I said, “Let’s find Nana, OK? Nana?” He perked up and said, “Nana? Nana! Nana!” looking around for her. In the elevator, I sat him down and he walked out, holding my hand. Jo was delighted to see him (of course!)

After we dropped Jo off at college, Michael and I went by the office to get a phone number about tomorrow’s appointment. Michael again captured everyone’s attention. He sat on my lap at my desk ... and knocked pictures off the desktop. Leaving there, we went back to my dad’s apartment.

Michael picked up a package of gum Dad had laying on a table. Dad said, “Oh no, Michael, let me have that before you lose it.” Michael grinned and took off with the gum! I said, “Oh you little fart! Gimme that gum!” He fell on the gum and hung on for dear life. I pried his little fingers off the now crushed gum sticks and started chewing on his belly. He just flopped back and grinned at me as if to say, “Go ahead, Papa, get me. That’s why I started the trouble anyway.” So I picked him up and (carefully) tossed him on Dad’s bed, then dove on top of him, pinning him under my chest. He screamed and started kicking. I got up and he charged right at me, hitting me in the chest with his head. I tickled his back and knees as he tried to squirm away.

We left Dad to get Jo from Westark and head home. I laid down for a much needed nap. When I woke up, it was to a happy little boy laying across my chest, hugging me awake. Before he went to sleep that night, in bed with his mama, he leaned up from the covers and patted me on my arm, his way of saying, “Thanks for a good day, Papa. I love you.”

What a great day!

Making Memories

Have you heard of Spotify? I have recently discovered this gem on the web - all the music in the world (they claim) to listen to for free. I've created playlists of my favorite 80s hits (ELO, Huey Lewis, Starship), Rocking Country (Sawyer Brown and Kentucky Headhunters), classic gospel (Keith Green and Amy Grant). It makes for great background music. But just today I remembered my very first love ... The Archies! I checked and sure enough - there it was, my first album - Everything's Archie. Wow.

As I started listening to Melody Hill, Kissin', and, of course, the staples: Sugar, Sugar, and Jingle Jangle, my mind was rocketed back to days when I was a little boy, listening to The Archies on the stereo (think of an antique CD player) while laying on the couch or dancing in Mom's living room. I could feel the water cooler (an early air conditioner) blowing, smell Mom's burgers cooking in the kitchen, and I was there.

All the memories came rushing in - sweet Summer days with Mom and Dad at the lake, building G.I.Joe and Tonka cities in the back yard, my first dog, Tippy, and the sense of belonging and peace. The funny thing is, home wasn't always very peaceful.

Try as she might, Mom had a tough task making a happy home with Dad's penchant for drink (sure, and we ARE an Irish family!) and Mom's absolute disdain for drunkenness. There were many long loud nights when I would lie in my bed, fearing the worst as they fought out their bitterness. I was terrified they would hurt each other or Dad would leave again or that he'd stay and they'd never stop fighting.

Memories are a mixed bag for most of us - some beautiful, idyllic scenes of being a relatively carefree kid, mixed with being a scared little kid who had pretty much no control over anything in my world. But one thing seems to be true for all kids I've talked to or read of: they love having family and being part of a home. Doesn't matter if that home has periods of yelling and anger, it's still Home.

Yes, many families fight a lot. But most kids - after they've grown and can look back clearly - admit they loved their parents no matter how they acted toward each other. The excuses I hear for many of the divorces I mediate are that the parents are convinced their own marital dissatisfaction is making their children miserable, too. Study after study show this to be false. Kids want Home.

Back to memories (The Archies are still playing in the background) - why do I automatically leap to the happy memories of my long-past youth? There were plenty of sad/angry/scary memories, too. But we lean toward the happy memories. Most of us do, anyway.

So my question to you is, what kind of memories are you building for your own children? What about your stepchildren? What memories will a song bring back to their minds someday, complete with sounds, smells, and emotions of these days? What are you planting there?

I teach consistently that stepparents are not responsible for their stepkids - that's the job for the biological mom and dad. And the bio-parents will build most of the good and bad memories of their own children. But you and I have a hand in our stepkids' present past, too. We have the opportunity to help these tender hearts grow into sensitive, loving, understanding adults. (Yes, even the surly teens have tender hearts!)

Every time we yell at their parent; every time we sulk and withdraw to "punish" them; every time we make demands out of a sense of responsibility that isn't ours instead of accepting and guiding them, we are making memories that will shape their whole lives. Because, you see, WE are teaching them about love and forgiveness and patience and kindness in ways their own parents cannot. Mom and Dad "have" to love them ... it's their job. But when we overlook the snotty attitudes, the shunning, the rudeness and love them anyway, we have made an impression on that young heart that will never be forgotten.

Well, my album is ending, so I need to get back to the present. But please think about the impression you are making on your stepchildren, who are yours by the grace of God and the permission of their parent you've married. You and I really can be heroes if we take the challenge to plant good memories in our stepkids.

God bless your whole family!

STEPcoach Bob Collins

[Here's my Archies playlist: The Archies – Everthing's Archie]

How will American Christians Cope?

I get emails and newsletters every day, speculating about the collapse of the American economy and what it will mean to us, as Christians, as our civil and religious freedoms are taken away. We've seen the 10 Commandments removed from public; God, Jesus, the Bible, and Christianity in history verboten in schools; Cursing Jesus' name is OK, but praising it is ridiculed or forbidden; evolution the new state religion; constitutional foundations cast aside as old fashioned ... on and on and on. What does all this mean to us, to individual Christians and to our children and our families?

I can tell you exactly what it all means to us - relatively little! People, of all the  American citizens, WE have the least to be concerned about. Why? Because we have been through all this and much worse before! Time and time again!

We like to ignore history because it's hard to keep up with, and it's uncomfortable to think of how things have been before. I don't know about your (step)children, but for mine getting her interested in history was like trying to feed her spinach! But if you push your children (and yourself) to take a bit of time to look back, you'll be very encouraged by what you see ... eventually.

Just after Jesus' resurrection and ascension, the brand new baby church was almost snuffed out by the current general public. Civil religious rights? How about being shunned by businesses and government services? How about a school system that taught our kids to actually worship idols? How about being hustled out of our beds and homes in the middle of the night to be dragged into mock courts where we were charged with everything under the sun, found guilty without representation or recourse? How about having your family taken from you and probably tortured and killed? How about being the entertainment for a blood thirsty mob as you are murdered publicly in cruel and imaginative ways?

In the Dark Ages, we true Christians even had these things done to us by "The Church." If we refused to accept the world government's twisted version of Christianity, the very religion (in name) that we followed would jail, torture, or kill us!

Even following the Great Enlightening and the Reformation, which broke the monopoly of the false Catholic church, we were subject to the nearest king's warped ideas of how we should worship, pray, or even believe. When we finally got miraculous freedom to worship publicly and we gained some influence over our own lives here in this new experiment of America, we saw enemies confront us on every front.

Despite political challenges, evolution, and a slowly eroding government, we have been able to relax into our illusion of security, forgetting where we have been and what we have come through to get here. We have found it easy and comfortable to think we have permanent home here in this world, when Jesus Himself regularly reminded us that we are strangers in a hostile land. We used to sing songs that were to serve as reminders: This World Is Not My Home, I'm only passing through, among others. But history is just to pesky to remember. And we've let ourselves and our children get lazy and complacent about our real position in a lost world.

And so, here we are again, about to be shaken from our reverie and woken to the harsh reality that we are Christians in a lost world. We may lose our temporary liberties to exercise our beliefs freely and openly. We may lose the right to worship at the corner church or promote our convictions in elections or wear t-shirts or bumper stickers that shout our ideals to the world. And we may feel really, really put upon and downtrodden and persecuted. And we may in fact be outlawed.

But, whatever else we lose, whatever else is taken away from us (or pried from our cold, dead fingers), Christians - true Christians will never lose our faith. Just as school boards may insist on no prayer in schools, but our kids can still pray silently whenever they want, in the same way we, their parents, can never be stopped from believing in our hearts that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life. We may have to use codes, as some of our ancestors did in Ireland or Poland, but we will still be able to encourage each other. We may meet in back rooms and basements, but we will still pray and praise together.

So my idea of preparing for hard times is not to stockpile gold or bonds. Rather I'm concentrating on increasing my dependence on God's providence, my familiarity with scriptures, and leading my family into a greater understanding of those Words of life. I know that, no matter what happens with the government, the economy, the ecology, the world community, or even the New World Order, my God will still answer prayer, He will still watch over His children, and He will provide for His own.

If we only survive a few years or months or weeks as fugitives and secret worshipers, we will leave others behind who know the truth and who know how to share it. And we will still have a wonderful, perfect future to look forward to in Heaven, then the New Earth with our God and our family. And it will be unimaginably better than anything we have had here, in America, over the last couple of centuries.

So, bring it on world, and Come Lord Jesus, Come!

STEPcoach (and Christian!) Bob Collins

How to Please the Master

This cute little video is really a life lesson lived out before you. In it, we learn all we need to do to please our Master.




1) come when we are called - even if we're tired or doing something else

2) give Him our full attention, sit quietly

3) unless asked to speak up for Him

4) heed His call to prayer

5) bow humbly at your Master's feet

6) pray sincerely, remembering others and to say thank you

7) never fear to ask for help to be a better person

8) enjoy His blessings and provision

9) accept and enjoy His love and praise when we do well

-------------------
Bob Collins
stepcoach@gmail.com

Empty Bird Cages

This is about the clearest, most fitting description of Christian salvation I've ever seen. Please read it and let me know if you "get it," agree, disagree, or even have your own "bird cage" story to share.

God bless y'all!
---- ---- ---- ----

GOD’S GRACE

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.

Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak....
 
"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright.

 I stopped the lad and asked, "What do you have there, son?"

"Just some old birds," he replied.

"What are you going to do with them?" I asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease'em and pull out their feathers to make'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time."

 "But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?"

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again.
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"
 
The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free. Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story:

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden,
and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught a world full of people down there. Set me a trap,
used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.
 
Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"

 "And what will you do when you are done with them?" Jesus asked.
 
"Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"

"How much? He asked again.
 
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.

The pastor picked up the cage and walked from the pulpit.
__._,_.___

Happy Fathers' Day

Happy Fathers' Day to all STEPdads. 

If you're feeling unappreciated or left out today - join the party! Me too. 

One thing to keep in mind, though, is that we have a super role model. Jesus' stepdad, Joseph, is often overlooked, too. He even risked death for his wife's son.

So, to all us Josephs - you deserve a great Fathers' Day, too! You are heroes!

How Annoying Is That???

So, we pull up to the bookstore for our date night. Get out of the car, grab our computers. I ask my darling wife:

"Aren't you going to get your jacket?"
"No, I don't think I'll need it tonight."

(she always needs a jacket!)

"Really, don't you want to take it just in case?"
"No, I said I'm fine. I'm fine."

Into the bookstore, which is as chilly as always. We get our table, set up our computers, and order our drinks. (OK, so we're not necessarily big on hot, wild dates.)

Just as we're getting settled in to surf and visit, my sweetheart says,

"You know what? It is pretty nippy in here tonight. (I roll my eyes.) I guess I do need my jacket after all."
(I mutter)" I told you you'd need it."

And out to the car I trek to get her jacket, which I had told her to get - twice! I fuss every step of the way. Couldn't just grab the stupid jacket when you were at the car, could you? Like you've never needed your jacket before - only every time!

Across the parking lot to our car. Then I think, for some reason, what if at some point I'm coming here alone, without her? What if the day comes I don't have her to fetch a jacket for?

Then my fussing turns to, "Thank you God for such a wonderful wife to run errands for. Thank you for the privilege to serve her, and You. Please allow me to keep fetching for her the rest of my life. Please. Thank You!"

She smiles as I help her on with her jacket and give her a kiss on the cheek.

Do you appreciate your errands for your love? Some day you may miss them.

Bob C. - STEPcoach

Twas the month before Christmas

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
 Not a Christian was praying
 Nor taking a stand.
 See the PC Police had taken away,
 The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
 The children were told by their schools not to sing,
 About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
 It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
  December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.
 Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
 Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
 CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
 Something was changing, something quite odd!
 Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
 In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
 As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
  At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
 At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
 You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.
 Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
 Are words that were used to intimidate me.
 Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
 On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !
 At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
 To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
 And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
  Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
 The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
 The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
 So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'
 Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
 Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
 Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !
Please, all Christians join together and
wish everyone you meet during the
holidays a
MERRY CHRISTMAS
Christ is The Reason for the Christ-mas Season!

Fathers

Got a letter recently asking me what I thought the writer (a dad) should focus on leaving his son. He was wondering if the focus should be things, memories, or what. I contacted the guy and we talked about what kind of a dad he wanted to be remembered as - a provider, an inspirer, or a shadow who worked a lot.

It's an important thing for a man to consider - the legacy he will leave behind.

My own father died in '06, a week after his 90th birthday. He was in great shape up until he broke his arm in a silly accident nine months before that, then he just went downhill at a steady pace.

My reaction has been sort of roller coaster-ish. Dad and I had a horrible start. He was a drunk who fought with my tea-totaling mom often - every time he'd come home schnockered he'd light into her ... and her mother ... and her sisters ... and every other woman he could think of. I spent a great deal of my youth crying for them to stop.

Many years later, and especially after my mother died in '00, Dad and I got closer. I learned that he was a funny guy who liked to laugh and have fun. We actually became friends the last few years of his life. My wife tells me that I have a lot of my dad in me - the funny, outgoing, never-met-a-strange-waitress bits, not the drunk bully bits.

It's really very complicated for a man looking back at the man who begat him. I find that the longer he's gone, the more I remember good things I'd forgotten about my youth. I remember weekend drives into the mountains when the three of us would walk around lakes only Dad seemed to know about. I've learned that he didn't really want another kid - my sister was 15 years older than I was. He was ready to retire when I accidentally came along. I guess he didn't handle the surprise and additional burden of me well. At least not until I was grown and on my own, out of his sphere of responsibility.

Good guy/bad guy. Dad was like most of us, a little of both. And I, I'm learning, am a lot like him.

Don't let your death be the first time your kids stop to really consider what kind of parent you have been. Think about what you want them to remember, but also welcome the opportunities to talk to them about yourself and your relationship to them now, while you can. Too late comes too soon.

Happy trails,
STEPcoach

Self-Image Guidance

Interesting blog article by Intimacy 4 Us. I found it (of course, on Twitter) just today and read some wonderful advice. MY advice is to go there (link is below) and read their advice.

Some of the things they talk about are Breast Anxieties, Hairy Situations, Excessive Sweating, Should I Nip and Tuck? Some are very personal - but those are the ones so many people need some guidance in.

YOU are the most important person in your family. You owe it to THEM to take care of YOU. So go visit http://www.intimacy4us.com/bandaids-selfimage/ and get you some you time!

Looking out for YOU,
STEPcoach Bob Collins
Twitter: STEPcoach

Stepfamily Springtime Blessings

Isn't Spring wonderful! I spent yesterday in our beautiful yard (let's hear it for wireless Wifi!) working while listening to a pair of mocking birds trying to outdo each other and a score of other whistling, singing, and chirping commentators.

The best thing about living in such a lovely area was this last Saturday when my stepdaughter and my 8-year-old grandson came over for an early Easter party. We hunted eggs until I was all egged out, ate outside by the woods, and watched our thriving batch of honey bees visit the flowers in preparation for our budding garden.

Life is good - even in a stepfamily. Four years of struggle (investment) with a very resistant and angry stepchild has returned a mature young friend and a grandson! I thank God every day for my stepfamily - trying to make up for all the times I prayed for them to go away.

Moral of the story: never give up, no matter how hard it gets. The dividends far outweigh the expense!

STEPcoach Bob

Pretty Pictures

Just some of my favorites, at
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7344543@N06/

Happy RE-birthday

My mom passed away nine years ago today: Happy Re-Birthday, my dear sweet Mama!

Remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed to you. Do for your family what you want to, today.
Withhold harsh words - try to imagine if those were the last words your loved ones would hear from you, if those are the words they would remember as your final thoughts.

Love those you love. Don't wait.

Just Breathe

• Some days you just need to concentrate on breathing. When the demands get too many & the load gets to heavy, just breathe.
• When the stepkids are getting to you; when your mate is frustrating you; when it's too much. close your eyes, relax, and just breathe.
• Everything doesn't have to be perfect. Everything doesn't have to be immediate. Everything can pause occasionally.

Breathing is terribly underrated. As basic as it gets, and yet so very vital. Focus on breathing in, then out. Just breathe for a bit.

• Far too often, we ALLOW the world and demands on us to determine our pace. CHOOSE to slow down. Just breathe.
• If you don't set a manageable pace, you will run out of breath before the end. Slow down and do things right. Just breathe.
• Rushing around does NOT get more accomplished. It just confuses your soul. Focus on one thing at a time. Just breathe.
• Life was never meant to be so damaging to your soul. God promises to lift your burden if you ask. Just breathe.

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Vegan Living: Gossip Girl's Vegan Joke

[from Huffington Post link]
UltraClassic said
"most vegan types I have seen appear weak and unhealthy and unable to fight their way out of a paper bag."

To which I reply:
"weak vegans? HA!" ...

* Ridgely Abele
Winner of eight national championships in karate
* Surya Bonaly
Olympic figure skating champion
* Brendan Brazier
Professional Ironman triathlete
* Peter Burwash
Davis Cup winner and professional tennis star
* Andreas Cahling
Swedish champion bodybuilder, Olympic gold medallist in the ski jump
* Chris Campbell
Olympic wrestling champion
* Nicky Cole
First woman to walk to the North Pole
* Ruth Heidrich
Six-time Ironwoman, USA track and field Master's champion
* Keith Holmes
World-champion middleweight boxer
* Desmond Howard
Professional football star, Heisman trophy winner

& many more at http://www.veganathlete.com/vegan_vegetarian_athletes.php

About Gossip Girl
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

President Obama

I'll readily admit that I have not been Barack Obama's greatest fan. I have had serious reservations about his qualifications to lead the free world in such complicated and tumultuous times. And there were other issues I have voiced which caused me to lean away from his election. However, a visit with a dear friend yesterday has brought a whole new appreciation to my conservative IrishAmerican mind.

Miss Jonny is a bright light in so many people's day as she sits inside Walmart's front door, smiling and greeting everyone who comes in and teasing and calling to everyone who leaves, "Have a blessed day!" If I ever noticed that Miss Jonny is black, I can't remember, because her smile is so blinding it blocks out most of her face. My wife and Miss Jonny have become friends (as is typical with my outgoing wife), so we stopped by yesterday to say hello in our shopping stop on the way home. After the usual hugs and banter, Miss Jonny asked us what we thought of "her president Barack." I said something general like, it will be interesting to see how he does in office. Miss Jonny's eyes lit up and she said that she didn't care much for how he did, just the fact that he was in was a blessing to her and to us all. Then I asked her why.

With soft eyes and a softer smile, she said, "I grew up with segregation, you know. I have been blessed in many ways, but I've had people look down on me because of my color, too. When my son took me to vote, I couldn't hardly see to vote for the tears in my eyes. I kept thinking about my great-grandfather, my grandfather and grandmother, and my mama who didn't live - who never dreamed to live to see this day. Mr. Obama's election means that the young men in my culture have more hope to be part of this country we've helped build. Now, I ain't angry with anybody for anything ever done to me, but it sure is nice to feel like I and my culture are a welcome part of our own home country."

And suddenly I was able to understand the excitement felt by so many. Through Miss Jonny's words (we talked for over an hour) I came to see that Obama was, to many Americans, more than just one man with some qualifications (shaky or not), and with a peculiar background, and a daunting job ahead. He is a representative of ... well, darn it, hope and change. And while I hope he won't change too many things I love about America, I can see that some important changes have been made.

Of course, things aren't magically perfect in race relations. There is still prejudice to be dealt with. Humans are imperfect. But at least now we have a real opportunity, as a nation, to make the big changes we've, for some stupid reasons, hesitated to make. With one man's election, we've said that we are, at least on a national level, beyond petty bigotry.

I'll still be watching President Obama, and I'll still be praying for him to succeed in leading our country. But now I'll have a deeper reason to pray for his success. Because his success represents the growth of our national culture into much more of what our founding fathers alluded to as divine equality. It really does make me hopeful.

God bless America.

BC

Stuff 4 U

1. It's OK to day dream! Really! Just be sure to write down those dreams, then make a plan to achieve them!
2. If you can't laugh at yourself, at least be willing to let others laugh at you, for you!
3. Problems you face in life are like math quiz problems in school - do your best, pass the test, learn from it, then move on!
4. Forgiving someone for something relieves YOU of more of a burden than them. Do yourself a favor and forgive someone today!
5. Your career won't take care of you when you are hurting. Value your family over your dumb ol' job!
6. Begin each day with "Lord, today let me be a blessing to someone."
7. Schedule in time each day for a cup of tea and time to sit still. Even if it's only 15 minutes, you need it.

(by STEPcoach, from my Twitter feed)

Some Days ...

... I need to call these guys!



(sign on side of van says: "Brain Location Service")

Get Over It!

In twenty years, most of the petty demands you're making will seem childish and selfish. Do your future self and your children a favor and get over it.

By demanding everything exactly the way you want it, you are setting yourself (and all who love you) up to be constantly disappointed and frustrated, i.e. unhappy.

Why is this so hard? Jesus clearly pointed out that it is easier to be forgiving and nice than to be demanding and mean. Do you just not believe Him, or do you think yours is a better way? To quote that guy on TV, "How's that workin' for ya?"

Just forgive. Let it go. Accept an apology when it's offered - and assume an apology when it's not offered. Or just let-it-go. Do you honestly have so few real needs in your busy life that you have time to throw away on sulking and rehashing your whines?

Love God ( = obey His directions) and love your neighbor (duh! that's the person nearest you, too!). Forgive. Get over it!

STEPcoach