Thursday, February 25, 2010

Kids Need to Have Fun after Divorce

Here's a tidbit I found that I thought you'd like. This article, by attorney April Jones, opens a new topic in the discussions about helping your children survive divorce. We've talked about how children of divorce need security and some tips for guiding them into a new future, but in this article, Jones addresses a little considered aspect of divorced kids - their need to have fun again after the trauma of their parents' divorce.

I hope you get some good ideas from this brief article. If you have ideas or questions, please feel free to contact me directly at - I'll be happy to help!


Helping Your Children Cope With the Pain of Divorce: The Importance of Having Fun

Children coping with their families being broken are often under more pressure than their parents realize. Everyone talks about how resilient children are but it can be a resilience obtained at the price of fun and whimsy and light heartedness. What appears to be resilience is often a defense mechanism that can essentially cost children much of their innocence and youthfulness. This is especially true when children have to navigate between bitter, angry, fearful or just plain sad parents who are mourning the death of the dreams they once had for themselves.

These children have to be resilient when Mom is too sad or tired to do laundry and cook because she's coping with her new full time job and battling depression. The children have to be resilient when Dad is too silent and too frustrated with his new single parent duties that include being both the provider and the listener. Try not to assume that your children will cope on their own. They still need the attention of each parent, they still need to laugh and feel heard. They need to know that they are still special to each of you.

Purposely taking time out for fun and relaxation is a must for families (the children AND the adults) in the transition phases of divorce. "Board Games Central" at is a really neat site that I love recommending to my clients in transition. The site has all the traditional board games we grew up with plus tons of other interesting games and party ideas. Games are great for kids and adults who need to relax and have fun. Check it out, get a new game and spend time with your children and/or friends laughing out loud. It will be good for you. One idea is get together with another mother/daughter or father/son team and plan a dinner mystery party for 3-5 other parent/child pairs. Teen girls love the "teen idol mystery party" dinner mystery game. The advantage of co-hosting a party is that you can let your friend do most of the work so you and your child can concentrate on enjoying yourselves and each other.

Original article link:  Children Coping With Divorce

April Jones has been a licensed attorney for over 19 years. She is a divorce lawyer with a family law practice in Denver Colorado. Visit Jones Law Firm, PC at

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