Monday, February 1, 2010

The Cost of Procrastinating

I teach a class for divorcing parents on how to guide their children through divorce with as little damage as possible. As I point out in the lesson, divorce always affects children. Some are badly damaged, some are only lightly stained. But all are changed for the rest of their lives. Many are affected so that their own marriages later in life are damaged by their parents' divorce.

Last month in a divorcing parents' class, one of the attending moms told us that she wished she had known about our stepparenting support and mediation sessions before, because she was sure her family could have avoided the break up with some help. She went on to confess that she and her then-husband had talked about getting help, but they kept putting it off, hoping things would just get better, until it was too late.

Their cost included (among other things):
  • several thousand dollars for attorneys and court fees, 
  • the expense of his new apartment so she and their three kids could keep the house, 
  • a second set of utility payments each month, 
  • a second car payment, and 
  • counseling for their middle daughter who wouldn't quit crying about daddy leaving. 

And that's just the financial costs. Besides that is his broken heart, her failed dreams, their children's crushed hopes and ideals about life and love, each spouse's family's shared heartache, and one more breakdown of family in America.

All because they just kept putting off getting help through mediation or counseling. Just to save a couple hundred bucks.

Let me state clearly here: I am a licensed family mediator. I have, since 1996, helped hundreds of stepfamilies to settle their differences and stay together. I help couples figure out ways to resolve the little upsets that build into irreconcilable differences. I also help reconcile those differences. I am proud to be a Christian family mediator. I save families from divorce and disaster. 

Before you think, "let's just wait, maybe it will get better," or "surely he'll change," or "maybe she's just bluffing, it'll be OK;" before you wait, hoping the problem will go away on its own, email me or call me and let's talk about preventing a disaster in your family.

Your have your entire future in the balance. But that's OK. You're an adult and you can handle another divorce. But what about your children? Do you really want to drag them through that pain again? Do something before it's too late, because the cost of procrastinating is far more than they can afford.

God bless your whole family,
STEPcoach Bob Collins

1 comment:

Just Life said...

When and where is your next stepparenting supporting and mediation session will be????I am in Slidell, louisiana. Please help and my email is

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