Evaluation Time: Holidays and New Year

Time to take a good look at yourself, your life, and your future. What? Didn't I tell you there would be a test at the end of the year? Well, here 'tis! Here are 16 life-enriching ideas to lead you into 2009.

Try to answer these as completely and honestly as you can. Might be hard to do on some of them! But, in oh, say August, you'll be glad you did when you have this to look back on. After you've answered these (with your partner or alone) send them to us so I can share them with other families.

HOLIDAY REVIEW:
1) What did you do right in dealing with the ex this Christmas season?
2) What could you have done better in dealing with your kids' other parent?
[These are important to avoid conflicts and to build bridges in this vital relationship. Your kids need to know that Mom and Dad can work together, at least for them.]

3) In retrospect, did you over- or under- gift your kids?
4) How well did you help everyone enjoy the holidays?
5) What one thing do you really wish you had remembered to do for them?
[I'm talking here about blessing your family and guiding them to more joy.]

6) What was your "whiny" factor this year - from your partner's perspective?
7) Where were your priorities toward your mate's family?
8) How many times did you and your sweetheart laugh together the last five weeks?

NEXT YEAR GOALS
[NOW is the time to begin PLANNING for next year.]

9) Think back on (or, if you're brave enough, list) your mistakes of this year; then visualize how to avoid those same faux pas next year.
10) How many dates will you commit to with your loved one in 2009? Schedule them: weekly, monthly, every Tuesday evening, lunch on Thursdays? PLAN!
11) Sit down with your sweety and daydream 25 goals for 2009 - romance, marriage, (step)parenting, career, home, personal time, etc.

12) How would you like next Christmas to go with your ex? OK, now, what are five things you can do this year to make that more possible in November/December?
13) What two trigger words or trigger phrases will you determine to turn loos of this year?

14) What are six things you want to do with your kid(s) in 2009? When? Details!
15) What two qualities will you teach your kids this year? Patience? Forgiveness? Honesty? Joy?
And how can you demonstrate those qualities to them?
16) List four activities you can do with your stepkid(s) this next year, just you and them? Think of sharing activities that will help you build common memories and shared experiences with them.